its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
