i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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