Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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