Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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