yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
