All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?