I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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