btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive