Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

My sheets look like a crime scene.

Fav 9 1118 1278
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

Fav 21 6955 1159
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive

Fav 10 5533 1096
share tweet
(514): View more from Quebec

Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

Fav 19 1141 4791
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You know how to spell recollection?

Fav 16 5794 1709
share tweet
(925): View more from California

curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.

Fav 12 3203 1576
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

She tied me up with her honor cords...

Fav 29 11520 1375
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...

Fav 6 1097 731
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.

(727): View more from Florida

Savage

Fav 2 144 248
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT