You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
