I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
