Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
