So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
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His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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