If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize