playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
