I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
