So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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