Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
