Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
