come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
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