And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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