the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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