You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
