Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
