tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it's like heaven, but drunker
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have surprise drugs for everyone
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
