We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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