So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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