Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
