I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
