This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
