I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
