every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
