did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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