I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You're like the curious george of whores
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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