Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
