Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
