Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
