bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
