i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
