Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
