dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
