in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
