YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
