Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
