Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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