Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is wine microwaveable?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
