i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
