every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
