Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
