Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
