To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
