lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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