My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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