elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
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My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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