I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
