I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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