Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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