I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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