I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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