i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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