So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
