Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
