we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
