After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
