??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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