4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this beer tastes like vomit already
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize