I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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