just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize