would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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