i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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