3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
