I was born with a shot glass in my hand
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
